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It is tempting to argue the importance of employee attitudes and expectations in terms of consequences of job satisfaction and poor employee morale and their cost upon the organization. You could cite the cost involved in human resource problems such as absenteeism, turnover, poor job performance, high workers’ compensation costs and morale issues. Such problems underscore the need for management to be aware of and informed about their employees’ attitudes and expectations. This information can be very helpful in running the organization.

A number of terms have been associated with employee attitudes. What is important is to understand is what is an attitude. An attitude can be defined as a predisposition, inclination, or tendency in relation to a situation, event, or object. Attitudes are not motivators or causes of specific behavior-they are a more general set of feelings. They may indicate how a person is likely to act in certain situations.

The best way to find out about a person’s attitude is to ask them–and one method of doing this is through an employee attitude survey. Attitude surveys are probably one of the best tools managers have for taking a barometer reading of what is happening in the workplace at any given point. However, if improperly administered, it can be a source of employee discontent.

If an employer should decided to conduct a survey themselves, the following considerations should be weighed.

The in-house survey team should be experienced and knowledgeable in (a) developing survey questions (b) administer the survey, (c) analyzing the results, and (d) establishing rapport with all levels of the company’s employees from top level management to the hourly employees. Lack of rapport with the hourly employees is likely to distort results; lack of rapport with upper level management can make implementation of identified needed action or change problematic. Given available, qualified personnel in the organization, a projection of the cost of doing the job in-house must be compared with the cost of hiring an outside consultant or agency for a job of the same size, that is, to produce a comparable amount of information.

If you should still decide to do it in-house, the following points must also be considered:

1. Survey instruments already developed should be reviewed for appropriateness for use in the organization.

2. A potential problem in conducting an attitude survey in-house may arise from the reluctance of employees to disclose their real feelings. This reluctance may be eased by ensuring anonymity of response through such techniques as (a) the use of a secret ballot and ballot box; (2) use of broad categories in asking for personal demographic information, eliminating all categories where there is a small number of employees; and (3) having one or more employee representatives as part of the data processing/data analysis team.

3. A survey of attitudes should be preceded by an orientation session in which the survey’s purpose, procedure and payoff are carefully explained and questions from employees are entertained. The survey should be followed by another session during which a report of the survey is made and the results are presented and discussed. If improving employee satisfaction is the purpose of the employee attitude survey, it would be ironic if the survey itself became the cause of employee fears, anxieties, distrust, and dissatisfaction. Involving employees in the pre and post-survey briefings is one way of preventing this unwanted outcome from occurring.

In-house surveys are suspect as potentially self-serving, and there is some evidence that a survey administered by an employer produces a more inflated picture than a survey conducted by an “outside” administrator. Hence, the hiring of an outside consultant with experience in survey feedback should be given serious consideration.

Whatever you choice, the use of attitude surveys remains one of the most powerful tools employers have in determining what their employees are thinking.

Rick Dacri is an organizational development consultant, coach and featured speaker at regional and national conferences. Since 1995 his firm, Dacri & Associates (http://www.dacri.com) has focused on improving the performance of individuals and organizations. Rick publishes a monthly newsletter, the Dacri Report (http://www.dacri.com/enewsletter.htm) with the intent to provide clients and friends critical information on issues that impact them, their organization and their employees. Rick can be reached at 1-800-892-9828, or rick@dacri.com.

Disclaimer: None of the content of this article should be
considered medical or psychological advice. You should consult
with your health care professional for specific advice relating
to your medical and psychological questions or conditions.

An important issue for Psychologists, Pediatricians, and other
specialists working with children is physical and mental
development of children and adolescents. There are many age
periodizations in child’s development and going through every
period, child learns and gets new abilities. However, children
with chronic illnesses like diabetes, sickle cell anemia, severe
asthma, cancer and others cannot go through regular physical and
mental development. Due to special treatment they cannot go to
ordinary school like healthy children, sometimes they have to
stay in hospitals for a long period of time. How to help
children with illnesses develop mentally and not drop behind
children of the same age?

1. Create special home or hospital-educational plan and
organize short mathematics, logics and reading lessons every day
or week. Together with your child you can make this time very
interesting and useful. New information, which you can find for
your child, will help him or her to feel completeness of life
and self-efficiency.

2. Create homework assignments for your child. Begin with easy
arithmetical (or any other subject) tasks. Doing it successfully
will help your child to raise self-confidence and interest to
new knowledge.

3. Even small tasks which demand accuracy (for example,
measuring table in centimeters or inches) can be very
interesting if you explain that every item around us should be
planned and measured very accurately first, before constructing.
Manual tasks demanding attention and accuracy are very useful,
because they increase ability to concentrate and regulate
attention.

4. Be patient and teach your child to be patient. This will
help your child to be optimistic during treatment process and
have positive attitude to the environment - some of the major
components of psychological and physical health.

5. Contributing to your child’s mental development will help
your child feel all your love. Receiving interesting
information, positive attitude and cheerful mood create a
special condition to improve health and stop illness progress.
Help your child be interested in knowing more and more about
this world, prompt him or her to be healthy and you will see
positive changes in your child’s life.

Original Article URL

If just reading that phrase hits you in the pit of your stomach,
you’re not alone. We don’t like to say goodbye. Whether it’s the
death of a loved one, divorce, moving, outgrowing a lifetime
friendship, sending someone off to war, watching a patient die,
retiring from a profession, or finding you can no longer connect
with someone who once meant the world to you, when it’s time to
say goodbye, it tears apart the fabric of our souls.

I remember sending my first son off to college. “It’s time,” I
told myself, “it’s what we want,” and I maintained a cheerful
smile until he left out the front door with his father. Then I
fell against the door, in tears. That it was time didn’t make it
any easier.

Later, when I was called to the Intensive Care Unit of a
hospital miles away, and found it was time to say goodbye to my
beloved younger son, just 21 years old, I thought I would go
with him.

I suffer each time I must say goodbye. Do you? It’s our only
choice, unless we become numb.

We know that to everything there is a season and a time to every
purpose under heaven. “A time to be born, and a time to die; a
time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A
time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a
time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to
mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a
time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to
refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a
time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a
time to sew, a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time
to love and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
(Eccl 3:1-8) And a time to say goodbye.

Because I coach, and often work with people in transition, I
hear the sorrow of the goodbyes and the struggle to know when,
if there’s a choice, and how, always. When it’s time to say
goodbye to playing tennis because the osteoarthritis’s gotten
too bad; when it’s time to say goodbye to the practice and hang
up the shingle, because it’s getting too litigious, or simply
too boring; when it’s time to say goodbye to hopes of a concave
belly, because nothing works any more; when it’s time to say
goodbye to hair and welcome baldness; when it’s time to say
goodbye to the spouse you love and file for divorce because they
have core n’grato and haven’t come home in months, but neither
one of you wants to be the first to say goodbye.

What do we do when it’s time to say goodbye? I include art,
literature and music in my EQ Foundation Course, and coach
certification program, because they are a good way to deal with
some of the harder emotional things in life, a way that’s
accessible, works, and doesn’t harm oneself or others, or end up
causing a second problem on top of the first one as medication
such as prescription drugs, alcohol and street drugs can do.

Music has a special ability to soothe. “There is no feeling,
except the extremes of fear and grief, that does not find relief
in music,” wrote George Eliot.

The producer of the movie “Together” writes about the time
period in China when all forms of western arts were forbidden,
including western classical music. He and a friend hid in a
darkened room to listen to a bootleg recording of Bach.

“We indulged in the music silently,” he wrote. “In tears we
stared at each other. As long as human beings are still
suffering from agony, classical music will arise from the dark
to console our souls and re-inject confidence and hopes into our
lives.” Classical music being mainly instrumental, except for
opera, which is “wordless” to those of us who don’t understand
the language its sung in. Words will pull more on the left
brain, and is a distraction. Indeed classical music can be
healing.

Andrea Bocelli, who has a legendary voice produced a recording
of this magnitude, teaming up with English soprano Sarah
Brightman. Brightman, who heard his single, POR TI VOLAR (I
Will Go with You) suggested changing the title to Con Te Partiro
(Time to Say Goodbye), and singing it as a diet at the farewell
bout for her friend,German World Light-Heavyweight boxing
champion, Henry Maske, known for choosing theme songs for his
fights. Maske had asked Brightman to find him the song for his
farewell appearance, and she heard Bocelli’s song one night
while dining out. She contacted the blind Tuscan singer, known
for partnering to produce renditions che scioglie il sangue
dint’e vene sai… such as his recordings of “Vivo Per Lei” (I
Live for Music) with Giorgia (in Italian), Marta Sanchez (in
Spanish), Helene Segara (in French) Judy Weiss (in German) and
Sandy Leah Lima (in Portuguese).

Time to Say Goodbye was recorded with the London Symphony
Orchestra, and performed the night of Maske’s last fight while
the Germans paying tribute to their favorite. It is said that
even Maske wept.

And weep we must when it’s time to say goodbye. Damming one
feeling, dams them all up, and stunts the pleasure we’ll feel
again some day - yes, unless we shut down permanently - and most
of us can laugh with abandon far easily than we can cry with
abandon.

Time to Say Goodbye is featured on Bocelli’s “Romanza” album,
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000041OG/susandunnmome-2
0 , and may help you with whatever you must leave, or whatever
is being taken from you, because it’s time to say goodbye and we
don’t always get to call the shots. Vivo Per Lei, with Giorgia
is also on this CD.

What a choice it is for a grand finale and working out those
feelings. Written by F. Sartori and L. Quarantotto, it captures
the mood of when we have to release our clutching fingers, open
our palms, extend them forward and let it go. The fact that it’s
in Italian except for the words “Time to say goodbye,” which
somehow Brightman enunciates and paces with perfection, adds
tremendously to the effect (if you don’t understand Italian, and
probably if you do, as well). If you want to read the lyrics, in
Italian and English, you can access them here:
http://www.abmusica.com/romanza.htm .

Music, according to the American Music Therapy Association, is
used in hospitals to alleviate pain, elevate mood, counteract
depression, calm or sedate, induce sleep, manage anxiety, lessen
muscle tension, and relax the Autonomic Nervous System.
Sometimes when nothing else can.

It’s Time to Say Goodbye became the biggest selling single of
all time in Germany, with sales approaching 3 million, staying
in the top ten for months, and claimed number one spots in
France, Holland, Belgium and Switzerland as well.

Bravo! Andrea Bocelli. ———- Do you live for music? Email
for free artistic white paper Vivo Per Lei.
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc and put I live for music for subject
line.

Throughout history, angels have been known as guiding spirits. They have been called “Messengers of God.” Angels have been seen as encouraging souls whose purpose is to lead us through transformative events in our lives.

Often, these guiding spirits are embraced so that a sense of comfort can be felt in the midst of despair. A dying patient and family members who believe in the presence of angels report feeling blessed by God.

Angels are extensions of God’s consciousness to most traditional religions. They come to us in various ways, shapes, sizes, and expressions. What a person believes to be true is true for that person.

When a person is dying, we can work with their angels in the following ways:

1. Believe the Patient.

Spiritual creativity is often the only level of independence that a dying person has at the end of life.

2. Encourage Inner Exploration.

If given enough time and a nonjudgemental attitude, dying patients feel more and more comfortable with those who care for them and begin to share the inner dynamics of their life with those around them.
A nonjudgemental sharing of lives creates a pathway into inner exploration. As such, a sense of safety is felt and the journey into the depths of one’s soul is encouraged.

3. Allow the Patients to follow their Soul.

When we trust in the Wisdom that created our dying patient’s life, we are trusting in the Wisdom that created all living things.

When a dying patient begins to trust you as his or her caregiver, you become a midwife, a fellow soul, an angel on a person’s path of dying into life. As a patient is dying, he or she generally becomes more soul than body.

As a person let’s go of his or her identification with physical matter, what really begins to matter are the things in life that isn’t matter. The relationship created between you and a patient in this kind of transformative experience of dying connects us to the eternal realm. Here, we are invited to dance with the angels.

For more on this author; http://www.soulandspirit.org

Depression is a problem that faces many of us, young or old; baby boomers or generation X. We have a fast lifestyle, we’re working between sixty and eighty hours a week and we have long commutes into the office keeping us away from our families. Pressures, stress and anxiety can gang up on us to cause an uncontrolled depression. Depression can be a symptom of this stress, or it can have a physiological cause as well. If you have cancer, heart disease or chronic pain, you might know all about depression and how debilitating it can be in your life. If you are one of the millions of people suffering from depression, what can you do about it? Are you ready to jump into the world of antidepressants that your doctor so quickly prescribes? We all want the magic bullet, the answer to just make the pain go away.

If you really want answers, sometimes it isn’t that easy. If you want to make the symptoms of depression go away; you have to first find the cause. Modalities through alternative medicine, can assist you with finding exactly why you have depression and give you ideas on how to ease the pain.

If you are someone that believes in mind-body experiences, you know that taking a placebo can have an effect on your body and what you are experiencing physically. The experts can’t agree if an antidepressant works because of the medicine, or because of the placebo effect. There are so many complementary therapies out there for you to try and experiment with. They may not all be for you, but if you are honest with yourself and are patient; you may find something that works for you without taking pharmaceutical drugs. Some of the options available to you include:

• Bibliotherapy - reading self help books gives you a wealth of information to help you understand what may be happening to you and why. Knowledge is power.

• Ayurveda is the practice of knowing yourself and the 3 doshas of your body. If your body is out of balance, you may become depressed. You may not have a deep understanding of self. Medication and prayer are other ways to become tuned to the Universe giving you answers within. Spirituality and becoming closer to a higher power may be enough to have you feel connected and not so alone.

• Herbal treatments such as St. John’s wort, Siberian ginseng, licorice, basil, clove, ginger, thyme increase serotonin in the brain and may help you with depression.

• Essential oils used in aromatherapy can scientifically help you to feel relaxed if you have anxiety or stimulate you if you feel lethargic. Sometimes when we smell a scent that we love, we just feel better too.

• Acupuncture or acupressure can touch the power points of the body and release blocked energy you are experiencing.

• Yoga, Pilates, or just moving to a type of exercise you enjoy can immediately make you feel better; lifting a depression. These are only a few of the options available to you.

Diet is a huge issue when it comes to depression. Do you drink too much caffeine, or consume too much sugar? Are you drinking too much alcohol? Do you have enough vitamins and minerals in your daily diet? You might have food allergies or are you lactose intolerant causing you to feel sluggish and depressed. A thorough examination by a doctor can tell you if you have a deficiency of some kind and what you can do about it. Imbalances of any kind can cause disease physically and emotionally. I have heard it said that if you put junk into your mouth you are digging your grave with your teeth. So what can you do to stop the progression of making poor choices when it comes to eating? Fresh fruits and vegetables or cereals and beans are a good place to start. Avoid the processed stuff because most of the nutrients have been removed. If you consume complex carbohydrates, such as pasta, pancakes, potatoes and oatmeal; you can increase the levels of serotonin in the brain as well.

We often forget about vitamins and having the right balance in the body. Make sure you have enough thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, biotin, pantothenic acid, folic acid, vitamin B12 and C. Without the right amounts on a daily basis; you could experience irritability, depression, anxiety, restlessness, fatigue, forgetfulness, memory loss, confusion and more. Combine minerals such as calcium, magnesium, chromium, selenium, iron and zinc with your other vitamins in a daily regimen and you will feel better too.

The body and mind are very complex; and by giving yourself the right combinations of treatments, diet, information and medical attention, you will have a better chance of staying healthy and strong. Combine the modalities of alternative medicine with the care of your physician and you are well on your way to feeling better mentally, emotionally and physically.

Beverly Marshall is a successful freelance writer, certified Aromatherapist and Feng Shui consultant. Her many articles offer guidance, suggestions and common sense ideas to change your life. If you are interested in products and information regarding alternative medicine, natural remedies, healthy lifestyles and more; her many articles can be found online.

The Herman Miller Aeron Mesh Office Chair is the most widely searched for online keyword in the office chair category even with it’s expensive price tag. Featured everywhere you look, from the corporate office environment and even on T.V., the mesh chair gained popularity rather quickly. Herman Miller, a very popular vintage furniture maker, has gained a new reputation for themselves through the popularity and ergonomic function of the Aeron model.

Popular shows like Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” use Mesh Chairs for both the hosts and the guests to sit in while on stage and on camera. The chairs used in similar talk show style tv programs and for interviewing guests were couches, or large upholstered lounge chair models. The standard mesh office chair is gaining enough poularity to extend to the trendy hollywood and television world and several movies have used the Mesh chair model for the corporate executive look and feel as well.

Mesh chairs provide the user with a fabric that is breathable and allows the body to better regulate temperature, maintaining the body at a more comfortable and even level. The right mesh material will also conform to your body and provide the user with a body molding substance similar to a memory foam. While allowing the body to breathe, the body can keep temperature at an even rate without the back warming up uncomfortably.

High end mesh chairs are usually available in a variety of colors and styles with many different ergonomic options and features. Allsteel’s # 19 Ergonomic Mesh model chair has won countless design awards and continues to please it’s many users with it’s comfort ability. It is also highly searched and a very popular mesh model.

Mesh chairs have the look and feel that most executives can appreciate. When spending the majority of the day in your office chair, you should be comfortable but always manage to look good and a mesh chair might be just what you are looking for.

Amy Lieberfarb has been in the office furniture and interior sales industry for 11 years and currently runs two online websites dedicated to Office Chairs and Furniture. Providing information on how to pick the right ergonomic chair and featuring hundreds of different chairs, the site is very informative.

http://stores.ebay.com/liebswholesale

Specializing in Office Furniture and Ergonomic Chairs.

http://www.liebswholesale.com

She is an expert in most things office chairs and is an eBay Powerseller with years of experience and great positive feedback from all of her loyal customer base.

If you want to have a fighting chance in the business world, you’d better be an effective communicator.

Here are three steps that will help you operate as a truly effective communicator.

Step #1. Know your outcome. An effective communicator knows her outcome and states it in the positive.

Step #2. Know where you are in the process. Know if you’re moving away from or closer to your outcome. Your questioning and listening skills play an important role in this step for communications awareness.

Step #3. Know your options. Be flexible. If what you’re saying or doing isn’t producing the results you’d planned, you’d better say or do something else.

There you have it, the Effective Communicator Model.

Let’s expand on each of the steps.

Step #1. Know your outcome.

If you don’t know where you’re going, that’s where you’ll end up.

Are you clear on the outcome of your communication? What do you want to accomplish? When you go into a negotiation, a sales call or a client meeting, are you clear on your outcome?

Make sure you state your outcome in the positive. We live in a culture that thrives on negative outcomes. We know what we don’t want and frame our outcomes accordingly.

What outcome do you want from your negotiation? Do you want to avoid overpaying for the project? The desire to avoid overpaying for the project is an example of an outcome stated in the negative.

Here’s how this outcome might sound when stated in the positive. “I will negotiate the best possible price for the project and I will stay within budget.”

Work on creating outcomes that are clear, specific and positive.

Step #2. Know where you are in the process.

Become aware of as much information as you can. This is where measurement and testing can provide you with valuable clues. You must have some measuring strategy in place. How else will you determine if your communication or action is producing the desired outcome?

Here’s an idea for a simple measuring strategy. Create your own checklist (kind of like a shopping-list for success) before you begin your communication or take an action.

Step #3. Know your options.

Be Flexible. If what you’re doing isn’t producing your desired outcome, you need to do something else.

Requisite Variety is a term born out of Neuro Linguistics Programming, NLP for short. The theory of Requisite Variety states that the communicator that has access to the greatest number of communications options will usually control the communication.

Science uses the same assumption when it comes to experimentation. Scientists know what they want an experiment to produce. They measure their results and know whether or not it worked. If the experiment works, great, if not, they utilize different options as the basis for their next attempt at success. Come to think of it, that approach would be really helpful in your business networking, client meetings, sales calls, marketing, or in any number of your business activities.

Success Tip - Know your outcome. All three steps of the Effective Communicator Model are important, but if you’re really clear on your outcomes and you state them in the positive, you’ll find yourself reaching those outcomes more easily and more often.

Copyright 2006 Ike Krieger

About The Author Ike Krieger is a business mentor, author and speaker. Ike will you get more clients, more referrals and more sales, without being pushy or “sale-sy”. His Question-Based Sales System will help you turn your contacts into contracts, more easily and more often. Subscribe to Ike’s newsletter at http://www.BusinessSuccessBuilder.com.

Depression can simply be a reaction to monotony or a lack of control. Financial problems can also lead to depression, and so can moving or a loved one’s death. However, some people have genetic predispositions for depression. Chemical imbalances in the brain can lead to chronic depressed moods of varying degrees. Some hormonal changes can trigger depression, while other individuals’ depressive moods can be caused by seasonal cycles. It has been found that some physical illnesses can also lead to feelings of depression.

There are several mood disorders that include general depression. Manic depression, or bipolar disorder, is signified by periods of extreme highs followed by periods of extreme lows. Clinical depression is defined as a long-term depression episode, and seasonal affective disorder is a depressive disorder that relates to the seasons in a cyclical mode.

Many individuals seek treatment for depression every year, and those numbers are growing quickly. As less and less of a stigma is attached to being depressed, more and more individuals are claiming to be suffering from depression symptoms. There are a variety of designer drugs available these days to help treat clinical and manic depression. Often times, medical doctors will prescribed these drugs to patients who claim to be suffering from depression without actually performing psychiatric evaluations.

If you think you are suffering from a depression disorder, you should first consult a psychologist to see if you are actually clinically depressed. If the psychologist diagnoses you, he or she may prescribe therapy as treatment, or he or she might also refer you to a psychiatrist to obtain prescription drugs to help with chemical imbalances. Most psychologists find it most beneficial if patients combine their medications with therapy sessions to help them realize the roots of their episodes of depression.

Do you need Depression Help? Visit http://www.eyeforhealth.com and find all the info and important links you will need.

An open mind
An open mind is the first step in people skills. When you listen to people talk you might just be ascending to the next plane. All it takes is respect for others. Nothing nurtures the mind more than an open mind. You will be amazed at the ideas that come into your head when you understand and agree. A frame of mind that accepts is remarkably superior to a negation. The instant you negate the mind gets all blocked up and one could be dwelling on ones own thoughts instead of concentrating on the other person. Accept what the people around you are saying hypothetically and keep up your absorption at the pace of the conversation. However make sure that the person you are talking to is a good person.

Teams and creativity
It is important that one be as creative as possible and not repeat what other people say. Finally no one will respect a yes man who does not seem to give any output. It is important to create output that goes beyond the input. Initially one may draw a blank but as you exercise the mind you end up learning from your experiences and friends and can put down a definite opinion. Let me illustrate with a simple example:

Four people are running a small business. They are working on a business idea. Two are experienced and two inexperienced. Business ideas keep failing they all wonder what to do. They decide take a break and relax before they hit the desk again. As things go, it turns out that the two guys with the greater experience go out to have coffee together often. The other two team up as well. Hence two groups are formed. The inexperienced ones work hard together in the break and become as good as the other two. This time when everyone gets back to work no one is half asleep. The team is highly motivated and the business gets so many solutions and ideas that it is success all the way.

Talk technical
It is easy to understand that you have a job to do. Do that diligently. It may not work. That is because people skills are involved. Let everyone know that you work - especially your boss. In many cases what happens is that you work hard, however when it comes to a conversation or an appraisal you might be at a loss for words. The reason for this being that your unassuming self does not talk business. People around may think you know nothing. So make sure from a leadership perspective that you do some talking. For example, you could be in a situation where you have created a set of diagrams for your business processes. All the work is your labor. Some smart talker could be selected to present it and grab all the credit. Make sure that to reach the meetings standard you can talk technical. Do not wander away from the topic at hand. The topic is work, work and more work.

Trust and distrust
If you have a good boss… trust. If you are surrounded by a bunch of backstabbers it is best you distrust. One must trust only those who are tried and tested. While both are unlikely situations in the extreme one should know there is a middle path. Trust is a two-way phenomenon. It is important that one is trustworthy. This includes adherence to deadlines, not leaving meetings, contacting your boss in case of a problem, and helping everyone out. It is best if you co-operate with everyone you trust. Do not be tied down by untrustworthy people. If someone has betrayed you watch out. That will happen again. It takes intelligent wit to survive along with an ability to evaluate people. Make sure that you trust someone before you speak your mind out.

Love them all
All are good is the right attitude to have. They come in all shapes and sizes, they dress differently, they may shout, they may sing, they may be intelligent, they may be dunces… they are your office. Make sure you love them all. That however does not mean you sacrifice a professional approach. It is important to get your point through and that requires understanding your emotions towards the other person. Negative emotions will draw a wall. You have to live together for a long time. So it is best you live together happily. Respect will take you a long way towards accomplishing your goals.

Stay alert
No one likes a sleepy head that does not get anything. For example marketing, a stress interview, meetings and negotiation are a battle of wits. If you wander off you will loose track of the discussion. Make sure that does not happen. Listen sharp. It is all based on answering the questions slipped out. If you are alert you will make it to the next meeting. If not they might just place you on your desk. Consider a case when the boss in a long meeting suddenly says get tasks one, two and three done. It is best not to be in a position to say, “I was not listening”. Some times you may not understand, but in business you might have to learn a new language.

Help and teach
We all need help once in a while. Only those who give help get help. When anyone needs help do not let them down. There may be things you know and if another person in your organization requires that knowledge make sure you share. If you do not teach out of self interest you are sure to loose in the long run. But do not teach if no one wants to learn. Do not preach. Everyone finds an unwanted teacher most disgusting and boring. Teach what you know in short with maximum impact. Make sure the other person understands completely. Elaborate only when asked genuinely.

Talk
It is important to talk. No one likes a guy who suddenly shuts up. Be frank and true. Don’t ever get frightened to speak your mind out. Speak politely with good manners. Stay humble. These are just a few methods to make you likeable. Speak intuitively and intelligently. Never use bad language. Never shout at your subordinates. Never get angry. Clarify all you have to say. When asked or when you have to express an issue speak to completion. Make sure everyone has understood by asking politely especially with the subordinates. That gets work done. State clearly what you want done and believe your boss. If you have any doubts just ask.

To sum it up, be good, polish your skills, and once in a while imitate the best guys you know like an enlightened monkey.

I am a management expert with a varied work background that includes engineering, business analysis and academics.

Anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs - is a hard journey. Holidays make it even harder. At a time when you’re supposed to feel happy and joyful, you feel sad and anxious. You’re on pins and needles and wonder what will happen next.

Remember, your grief stems from love, and you may find comfort in that. Holidays don’t erase your reasons for feeling sad and lonely, according to the National Mental Health Association, and “there is room for these feelings to be present.” So accept your feelings and, if you feel like crying, go ahead and do it.

Crying will help you to feel better. Here are some other ways you can help yourself.

BE REALISTIC. You don’t have to create a “perfect” holiday. Do you really need to knit sweaters for everyone? No. Do you really need to serve a six course meal? No. What you need to do is set realistic goals, get organized, and pace yourself. Rather than focusing on one day, the National Mental Health Association recommends focusing on “a season of holiday sentiment.”

ASK FOR HELP. You don’t need to do everything yourself. Family members and friends will be glad to help with planning, decorating, and cooking. One family member could bring a traditional dish, such as pumpkin pie. Another family member could provide linens and launder them afterwards. Your request for help makes others feel needed.

BUDGET. Finances can cause stress at any time, but they cause lots of stress during the holidays. Set a budget for gifts, decorations, and entertaining. Staying within your budget will make you feel better about the holidays and yourself. Your gifts don’t have to be new. Holiays are a perfect time to pass along family possessions - a flower vase, historic photo, or beloved book. Stick a short note about the item in with your gift.

EAT RIGHT. Because nutrition affects brain chemistry, you need to eat balanced meals during the holidays. Yummy as they look, pass up the candy and cookies that come your way. Choose lots of fruits and veggies from the buffet table and one dessert. Keeping a supply of healthy snacks on hand will also help you to eat right.

DRINK MODERATELY. Alcohol makes the holiday blues worse, according to the National Mental Health Association. Too much alcohol can cause you to say things you’ll regret later. If you drink alcohol, drink in moderation or skip it all together. Drink sparkling cider, non-alcoholic punch, or flavored water instead of alcohol.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP. You’ve probably thinking, “Yeah, right.” But you need sleep to survive the holidays. Getting enough sleep is hard to do with so many holiday events going on. However, you may be selective about what you attend, leave early, and get a good night’s sleep. Balance a late night with a short nap the next day.

LIGHT YOUR WAY. Vanerbilt University wellness experts say more people get depressed during the holidays than at any other time. Some of these people have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). If you live in a cold climate and the days are short you may wish to be evaluated for SAD. Phototherapy (intense lighting) is usualy recommended for those with SAD. Even if you don’ have SAD well lit rooms will lift your spirits.

EXERCISE. Daily physical activity is a proven way to cope with stress. Walk around town or the local mall and look at holiday decorations. Play catch with your kids or grandkids. Bundle up and go cross country skiing. A half hour of physical activity per day helps to chase the blues away.

BE CONCILATORY. According to www.MayoClinic.com family tensions may flare during the holidays if members are “thrust together for several days.” Holidays aren’t the time to settle family disputes, they’re a time for concilatory and kind behavior. Discuss family grievances at a later date.

HELP OTHERS. Holidays are associated with families and togetherness according to Jill RachBeisel, MD, Director of Community Psychiatry at the University of Maryland. But, due to the divorce rate and fragmented families, many don’t have this kind of holiay experience. Still, you may connect with a substitute family by volunteering a a senior center, reading to shut-ins, or tutoring children.

MAKE NEW MEMORIES. The memories you make during this holiday season may comfort you in the future. Take digital photos of holiday events and put them on a CD. Send copies of the CD to all family members. Every family has stories to tell and you may create new memories by tape recording some of these stories. You may also videotape holiday events.

SAVOR THE MOMENT. Though you are sorrowful, you’re alive, able to be with those you love and care about. Surround yourself with life: family members, dear friends, colorful flowers, a tail-wagging dog, and hobbies that make you happy. For every moment of life - even the sorrowful ones - is a miracle.

Copyright 2005 by Harriet Hodgson. To learn more about her work go to http://www.harriethodgson.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a nonfiction writer for 27 years and is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists. Her 24th book, “Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief,” written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from http://www.amazon.com The book is packed with Healing Steps - 114 in all - that lead readers to their own healing path.